did you get engaged???
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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