i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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