Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
