What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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