their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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