i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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