brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
