Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
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Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
God, I missed his penis.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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