Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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