I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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