i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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