Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
