Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
