I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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