pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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