Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
