I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
My breasts were aching with rage.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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