I didn't shave. On purpose
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
