Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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