2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
