I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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