about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
