Three words: puerto rican gang bang
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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