I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
