His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Is it because I queefed?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
