It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Blood and glitter go together right?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
