I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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