Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
