is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
