what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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