OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
