Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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