your thong is hanging out like whoa
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
