Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
