well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
