i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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