saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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