Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
