need another drink. this is the easiest way
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
