The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize