i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
