i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
