I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
