Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
