the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
All I want is dick and wine.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
