did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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