i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
