Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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