if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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