There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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