I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
i think my cat just said my name.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
