Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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