Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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