1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
