Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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