Why are handjobs necessary in class?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i wish my penis had a tongue
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
