Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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