We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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