I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
