but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
