what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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