just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
