So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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