dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
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