even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
